-By LeN Diplomatic Correspondent
(Lanka-e-News -18.May.2025, 11.00 PM) In a move that will surely bewilder historians, titillate political satirists, and send civil servants scrambling for protocol manuals not updated since the Falklands War, it is being whispered in the polished corridors of Whitehall that His Majesty King Charles III has floated the idea of inviting the United States of America—yes, that United States—to join the Commonwealth of Nations.
What began as a curious suggestion over a garden party at Highgrove, reportedly between the King and a certain red-faced former Foreign Secretary (who shall remain nameless, though rhymes with “slug of brandy”), has now travelled far beyond royal banter. Whispers have turned into quiet meetings, and quiet meetings into memos marked “TOP PRIORITY – Eyes Only – Post Brexit Geopolitical Stabilisation.”
The idea? To invite the United States of America—whose entire national identity is built on not being British anymore—into the very club founded by Britain for her former colonies.
You might be forgiven for choking on your Earl Grey. But let us proceed.
According to the rough diplomatic sketch, once accepted, U.S. embassies would be rebranded as High Commissions. American Ambassadors would be called High Commissioners—a title once reserved for soft-spoken Canadians, ex-colonial Kenyans, and, occasionally, a gaffe-prone New Zealander with strong opinions about cricket.
The stars-and-stripes would flutter alongside Union Jacks at Commonwealth summits, and, in an especially amusing twist of irony, President Donald J. Trump—presuming his re-election in November—might find himself hosted not merely as the Leader of the Free World, but as a prospective Commonwealth Head of Government. Imagine, if you will, Trump seated beside Rishi Sunak and the President of Cyprus, sipping English Breakfast and debating trade tariffs in a gilded ballroom in Nairobi.
“Frankly, the Commonwealth is a tremendous club,” Trump might say. “Huge potential. The Queen—I mean, King now—tremendous guy. I always respected the monarchy. Loved the horses. The hats. But they need me. Big time.”
Of course, the idea of inviting the United States into the Commonwealth is less about repairing ancient transatlantic grievances and more about rebalancing the global chessboard.
With China prodding at the edges of Pacific partnerships, and BRICS making suspicious cooing sounds towards African nations, Britain finds herself increasingly nostalgic for the days when Commonwealth summits weren’t just diplomatic book clubs with bad catering, but actual geopolitical forums of consequence.
So why not invite back the black sheep who stormed out in 1776, dumped our tea in Boston Harbour, and wrote a Constitution specifically designed to never again bow to a King?
Because geopolitically, it makes more sense than you think.
The Commonwealth—founded in the ashes of empire and rebranded as a family of free and equal nations—has 56 member states, most of whom have historically depended on British soft power, modest development aid, and endless training programmes on “democratic governance”.
But make no mistake: it is a curious club. India, the most populous member, is more economically aligned with Russia and the U.S. than with Britain. Canada and Australia behave as if the whole thing is an obligation they inherited along with cricket and Marmite. And Pakistan treats every Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting (CHOGM) as a place to argue about Kashmir.
Adding America, then, could change the game.
The United States would instantly become the most powerful military and economic player in the Commonwealth, surpassing Britain in GDP, nuclear arsenal, and sheer willingness to bomb things. It would lend the Commonwealth not just prestige, but an actual purpose.
Imagine trade negotiations conducted within the Commonwealth framework, with Britain and the U.S. on equal footing—post-Brexit, this is a dream wet enough to make Liz Truss consider a comeback.
Sri Lanka, for instance, long entangled in tariff disputes and security concerns, could suddenly approach Washington not via long-winded diplomatic channels, but over tea and scones at Marlborough House. Commonwealth frameworks would permit friendlier, more frequent dialogue on trade, defence, and development.
As one Sri Lankan official wryly observed, “At least now we can speak to the Americans with the same sarcasm we reserve for the Canadians.”
The proposal arrives at an awkward moment. India and Pakistan, both Commonwealth members, have recently been at odds over water disputes, Kashmir, and cricket match venue selections. Amidst their increasingly testy exchanges, it was the United States—not Britain—that played backchannel diplomat in easing tensions.
If the U.S. had already been a Commonwealth member, would this have been hailed as a Commonwealth peace accord? Would Trump have declared himself “Best Mediator in the History of the Commonwealth”? Almost certainly.
But there’s a darker strategic implication here: if the U.S. is already doing the work of global diplomacy among Commonwealth countries, perhaps it’s time the paperwork caught up with the politics.
The purists will argue: how can a country with no Queen, no tea-drinking culture, and no tolerance for metric units possibly join a club founded on those very things?
After all, the U.S. Constitution begins by saying “We the People,” not “We the People of the Commonwealth of Nations, under God and the Queen”.
But the Commonwealth today is not a monarchist cartel. In fact, many of its members are republics. Guyana, Trinidad & Tobago, and India all happily ditched the monarchy and kept their seats. The King remains only as ceremonial head—less political power, more motivational mascot.
Trump, were he to join, wouldn’t be required to curtsy to King Charles—though the photo opportunity would be worth it alone.
The global response to the leak has ranged from bemused to baffled.
In Canberra, a former Australian diplomat was overheard muttering, “If the Americans join, does that mean we get free Netflix? Or just more wars?”
In Canada, where Commonwealth meetings are treated with the same enthusiasm as municipal sewage forums, the news was met with polite horror. “We just got used to pretending the Queen wasn’t around. Now we have to deal with Trump at CHOGM?” sighed one official.
In Nairobi, the Kenyan Foreign Ministry noted: *“Well, if it means faster visas and less drama with the IMF, we’ll consider it.”
For King Charles III, who has long been viewed as a monarch with climate concerns and political caution, the idea of personally backing a U.S. return to the British club is, frankly, bizarre. But some close to the Palace insist the King is merely honouring the Commonwealth tradition of “inclusion, diplomacy, and shared purpose.”
Others suspect it’s a subtle act of revenge for 1776.
After all, what better way to bring America back under British influence than to offer it a leadership role in a club it can’t dominate, doesn’t understand, and has no idea how to exit?
In a world increasingly defined by bipolar power plays—China’s Belt and Road here, America’s military alliances there—the Commonwealth remains a curious relic. But perhaps with the right reinvention, it could become a geopolitical bridge rather than a museum of past glory.
If America joins, not only does the Commonwealth gain a swagger it hasn’t seen since Churchill drank his first wartime brandy, but Britain regains its post-imperial relevance.
And countries like Sri Lanka, Bangladesh, and Kenya get the added benefit of being able to raise bilateral issues—be it tariffs, aid, or defence cooperation—not only with Britain, but with America, in a setting slightly less hostile than the United Nations and slightly more stylish than the WTO.
So, could America become a Commonwealth country?
Stranger things have happened. Britain left the EU. Boris Johnson once ran the country. Prince Harry moved to California. The idea of the United States returning to the British fold might sound mad—but in the age of geopolitics driven by personality, nostalgia, and strategic desperation, madness often passes for policy.
And who knows? Perhaps one day soon, we’ll see a Commonwealth summit where President Trump, sipping lukewarm Darjeeling, declares:
“We made the Commonwealth great again.”
God help us all.
-By LeN Diplomatic Correspondent
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by (2025-05-18 19:33:57)
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